Post by hnkbot on Oct 14, 2016 6:21:55 GMT 1
So, I wrote all this shit genius point of view before the season, but only now it was transleted. Thanks to Lev or Kits, or both of them.
(P.S. ofc I didnt change anything after first 4 games)
Hey-yo to those who are still alive.
In this topic I have decided (not me personally - I suck at english and I don't pay people expecting them to translate my writing in time) to form an opinion about teams created this season. Some of you guys maybe are still butthurted because of skill cards I have done the other day (I will do more, why not), so expect these rankings to be so ridiculous and far-fetched as they were.
Nothing2learn aka Drogba and philosophical fails
Drogba might be the first assotiation of the Main Spaceball Loser, with regard to skill/wins correlation, which comes to your mind. Despite having non-trivial skill and being one of the best players of his position, Drogba almost never wins. The reasons are always different: even in previous season, when, seemingly, there was a golden opportunity and Drogba's ass coupled with his Robin-Brano boy has been covered my Insigne himself. But the curse is real, so Drogba failed once again. Sure thing, he has a bench ring from SSN5 (was a draft too) in his pocket, but is he really proud of it? I doubt that. In this season Drogba comes with @fairytalesteelnipple the Asshunter. As we remember from SSN7, Drogba failed to get the shit work with domeq as gk, and had collapsed with Insigne (he isn't even active now), so @fairytalesteelnipple was the best opportunity available. What makes that finnish viking strong? Positional playing, contact playing, full defence control under opponent's pressing. Although, attacking part isn't his strong suit. @fairytalesteelnipple always needs someone with vision of the field and a good pass. Those were rb aka Скерек or deco or DontKnowFuckYou and lipton. Do they have any player like this now? I don't know. I have seen W and Bia a little, django doesn't have enough experience and Franklin Richards (ACS) is a dark horse. Gaúcho could have taken the role, but considering his activity it's unlikely to happen. Summing it up, I would say the main question is how Drogba will manage to organize gameplay of his team and whether he founds optimal roster combination.
Key player: Third player in addition to Drogba and @fairytalesteelnipple
Main problem: Organization of the positional game both in offence and in defence
Team spirit: 3/5
Team chem: 1/5
Starters level: 4/5
Offensive potential: 3,5/5
Defensive potential: 3/5
Blackout aka The Turkish Gambit
dasilva is the only player able to compete with Drogba about Main Spaceball Loser title. All he has is a League Cup winner ribbon. However, it's not like he had any serious season. His first team was The Future, where dasilva was really a star (like Zlatan in Sweden's national team). Then dasilva took the promotion and joined the strongest team of that time, Dream Team, but couldn't make it. After it dasilva has been having fan ending his spaceball career 60 times, had some weak seasons, but now he is ready to win again. Some infamous italian keeps him company, and their chem will sure make league tremble. The most controversial choice dasilva has faced during the draft was at the stange of 3rd pick, where he had to choose someone to do the thankless job - to defend net. Choice fell on the turkish activist @mehmetcan. And this is where their main problem hides - defence. Yes, @mehmetcan is gk on a paper, but more of an offensive type, so if it happens that Blackout is backed into the corner with a necessity to defend their net, some shit can happen. Weak defence characterizes all of them, especially dasilva. Also from the point of view of team spirit team doesn't look very stable, because the chance of captain going on bender and ending his career in 61 time after several lost games is high. Besides, if either dasilva or Biscuits won't show up for some reason, team is fucked up. Even @mehmetcan can't be replaced, considering bonfire's activity. Overall, I can already say that it will totally depend on @mehmetcan covering two most technical asses of the league. Important to note - successfully covering.
Key player: @mehmetcan
Main problem: Readiness of @mehmetcan + weak bench
Team spirit: 2/5
Team chem: 2/5
Starters level: 4,5/5
Offensive potential: 5/5
Defensive potential: 2/5
Kwachu 0.7 aka Ba's Eleven
bA Panta Rhei raises polish flag again. This time, his team is watered down with some germans and russians (I hope they won't try to divide Poland just out of habit). The amount of work Lager has done during the previous season is amazing, his team was really tough, and no less amazing how they all fucked it up in the playoff. Now bA Panta Rhei put "fucking up challenge" on his own. This cwel probably got the most balanced team. Their potential and variativity of the game might increase exponentially if they somehow manage to keep kingdulli on a leash. Talking about chem, they have kingdulli + Alt chain, which is not bad, and bA Panta Rhei + ajajejejaja + deco chain. The current problem is quite evident. If they will play Alt and deco at the same time, they will see that first player is very impulsive, rough, better with speed playing and second feels like a fish in a barrel in terms of playing in a balanced and calm manner. They are complete opposite. In this case Alt would have to adapt to deco's style and it would reduce his potential. The bigger deal is deco in pair with kingdulli, who prefers control too, so deco + ajajejejaja + kingdulli chain will look very interesting. kingdulli is about adding required bA Panta Rhei balance to Kwachu's gameplay, but it's a question if he will even play. Yet another question: who will play as gk then? deco is too slow and doesn't know how to gym to be able to take responsibility, he needs some backup. kingdulli is a good option, but he has a disadvantage too - his manner on keeping the ball can result in losing it. ajajejejaja looks like a better choice, though it's not his natural position (or not? who fucking knows). Will bA Panta Rhei sacrifice his playing time in favour of the good of his team? Yes, he is an experienced player, but less reliable than his partners, so if he will insist on him playing it can turn out in something bad.
Key player: kingdulli
Main problem: Proper starters selection + kingdulli's attutide
Team spirit: 2,5/5
Team chem: 3,5/5
Starters level: 4/5
Offensive potential: 4/5
Defensive potential: 3/5
The Future aka Woman on a Ship
The ship named named The Future has reached its destination point in the previous season and now, practically using the same roster, they will try to reach it again. It's no secret to anyone that their win was affected by two factors: 1) Wise captain decisions by hesse; 2) Gogli was the 4th player on the field. Making an analogue with the real football, Gogli was like Kante in the championship season of Lester. He covered all the asses and didn't forget to organize the attack. Now team is supplemented by Kitsune aka Сирень aka a lot of weird nicknames. Will it have any impact? Since level and skillset of The Future from previous season was just about making count-attacks, now with Сирень on gk they got an ability to organize positional attacks, and while japanese is right behing Gogli he may untie his X to attack more. However, considering such "update", opponents will come at The Future with completely different mood, unlike previous season when they saw sammer, SanRoo and got rekt as soon as they let their guard down a little. Maybe it will play a dirty trick with The Future this time. Also, if team will build they gameplay exclusively through Gogli, overloading him by the passes, sooner or later he will make his mistake which will be used by the opponents. Russian bitch can also get into positional attack too much and lose herself. What about defence, there is a suspicion that team won't concede too many goals, maybe a little by counter-attacks, because if Сирень and Gogli decide to park the bus, it would be quite the task to penetrate their duo.
Key player: Сирень
Main problem: Cooperation between Сирень and Gogli
Team spirit: 4,5/5
Team chem: 4/5
Starters level: 5/5
Offensive potential: 4/5
Defensive potential: 5/5
Space Walrus aka Lev and Silent Domi Strike back
They are all in here. Old-new Space Walrus is going to take away the shame of the previous season. Only KoVolt is missing from the championship roster, but it won't be the same without him. This season walruses and rookie bouncers montes and jsjs have united to create some gay love. Relationship between Sebastian and domeq originates from the beginning of SSN2 where they formed a duo in Dangerous Cacti (KoVolt was there too), and even Brad Pitt wasn't half as trustful to Angelina Jolie as domeq was to Sebastian. And of course, this young pair, similar to an american one, brought some black kids to their family from all over the world. No one knows what these 3 bouncers are capable of, not even Sebastian, so we can either witness the fabulous birth of the new stars or fabulous comeback to the bottom of the standings (my money on it!). The old friend of Space Walrus notka, who has been involved in championship roster earlier, is also here. I have firsthand knowledge about the skills of this boy, he has a reputation of a player who can create goals out of nothing - both in opponents's and his own nets. Here is his main power and his main weakness. Just as much as he is effective in attack, he is useless otherwise. So, notka's functional and psychological stability would be the thing to lead this team forward. His skills are fully about mood. If he is on top - beware, opponents, but if not - beware, Space Walrus. In contrast to other teams, they has well-organized and seasoned with chem trinity of starters that can earn points easily. Once any bench player takes place instead one of them - team will collapse into chaos.
Key player: notka
Main problem: Readiness of notka + defence
Team spirit: 4,5/5
Team chem: 5/5
Starters level: 4,5/5
Offensive potential: 5/5
Defensive potential: 2,5/5
Reestylic aka Yellow Blue Nose
I remember, during previous season I wanted to have my own team with blackjack and whores. And I would like to see Nedved11, chudo, Nagi, notka and Walkie joining me. You see now? Yes, I got what I wanted. It was important to me to fill team with russian-speaking member so they understand my thought about tactics. back then, in SSN5, I was trying to impose my view of gameplay on other players of Lunar Force, but due to language barrier and inactivity of deco I couldn't make it (though we won Dream Team twice). Actually, main problem as I see it is how soon this team will be able to play tactically correctly. With tactics it's all possible, even to make finals side by side with Bjorn. If we solve this problem soon, then we will compete for the first place in regular standings, if sooner - then we try to reach playoff to continue solving it thereafter (like in previous season), if not - then playoffs are under question. Even though we might be stronger as team than others, our individual skill is still weak. In an ideal world, our gameplay would remind of Atletico Madrid. Also, after such a long break all players usually suffer from a bad shape, so do we. The possibility of team warming up only by the middle of the season is more real than the rough start. And let's be honest - they all think that we are the weakest team compared to others, and I hope they won't change their mind so my job becomes easier
Key player: hnkbot
Main problem: Team's shape + tactics training
Team spirit: 5/5
Team chem: 4/5
Starters level: 3,5/5
Offensive potential: 2/5
Defensive potential: 5/5
(P.S. ofc I didnt change anything after first 4 games)
Hey-yo to those who are still alive.
In this topic I have decided (not me personally - I suck at english and I don't pay people expecting them to translate my writing in time) to form an opinion about teams created this season. Some of you guys maybe are still butthurted because of skill cards I have done the other day (I will do more, why not), so expect these rankings to be so ridiculous and far-fetched as they were.
Nothing2learn aka Drogba and philosophical fails
Drogba might be the first assotiation of the Main Spaceball Loser, with regard to skill/wins correlation, which comes to your mind. Despite having non-trivial skill and being one of the best players of his position, Drogba almost never wins. The reasons are always different: even in previous season, when, seemingly, there was a golden opportunity and Drogba's ass coupled with his Robin-Brano boy has been covered my Insigne himself. But the curse is real, so Drogba failed once again. Sure thing, he has a bench ring from SSN5 (was a draft too) in his pocket, but is he really proud of it? I doubt that. In this season Drogba comes with @fairytalesteelnipple the Asshunter. As we remember from SSN7, Drogba failed to get the shit work with domeq as gk, and had collapsed with Insigne (he isn't even active now), so @fairytalesteelnipple was the best opportunity available. What makes that finnish viking strong? Positional playing, contact playing, full defence control under opponent's pressing. Although, attacking part isn't his strong suit. @fairytalesteelnipple always needs someone with vision of the field and a good pass. Those were rb aka Скерек or deco or DontKnowFuckYou and lipton. Do they have any player like this now? I don't know. I have seen W and Bia a little, django doesn't have enough experience and Franklin Richards (ACS) is a dark horse. Gaúcho could have taken the role, but considering his activity it's unlikely to happen. Summing it up, I would say the main question is how Drogba will manage to organize gameplay of his team and whether he founds optimal roster combination.
Key player: Third player in addition to Drogba and @fairytalesteelnipple
Main problem: Organization of the positional game both in offence and in defence
Team spirit: 3/5
Team chem: 1/5
Starters level: 4/5
Offensive potential: 3,5/5
Defensive potential: 3/5
Blackout aka The Turkish Gambit
dasilva is the only player able to compete with Drogba about Main Spaceball Loser title. All he has is a League Cup winner ribbon. However, it's not like he had any serious season. His first team was The Future, where dasilva was really a star (like Zlatan in Sweden's national team). Then dasilva took the promotion and joined the strongest team of that time, Dream Team, but couldn't make it. After it dasilva has been having fan ending his spaceball career 60 times, had some weak seasons, but now he is ready to win again. Some infamous italian keeps him company, and their chem will sure make league tremble. The most controversial choice dasilva has faced during the draft was at the stange of 3rd pick, where he had to choose someone to do the thankless job - to defend net. Choice fell on the turkish activist @mehmetcan. And this is where their main problem hides - defence. Yes, @mehmetcan is gk on a paper, but more of an offensive type, so if it happens that Blackout is backed into the corner with a necessity to defend their net, some shit can happen. Weak defence characterizes all of them, especially dasilva. Also from the point of view of team spirit team doesn't look very stable, because the chance of captain going on bender and ending his career in 61 time after several lost games is high. Besides, if either dasilva or Biscuits won't show up for some reason, team is fucked up. Even @mehmetcan can't be replaced, considering bonfire's activity. Overall, I can already say that it will totally depend on @mehmetcan covering two most technical asses of the league. Important to note - successfully covering.
Key player: @mehmetcan
Main problem: Readiness of @mehmetcan + weak bench
Team spirit: 2/5
Team chem: 2/5
Starters level: 4,5/5
Offensive potential: 5/5
Defensive potential: 2/5
Kwachu 0.7 aka Ba's Eleven
bA Panta Rhei raises polish flag again. This time, his team is watered down with some germans and russians (I hope they won't try to divide Poland just out of habit). The amount of work Lager has done during the previous season is amazing, his team was really tough, and no less amazing how they all fucked it up in the playoff. Now bA Panta Rhei put "fucking up challenge" on his own. This cwel probably got the most balanced team. Their potential and variativity of the game might increase exponentially if they somehow manage to keep kingdulli on a leash. Talking about chem, they have kingdulli + Alt chain, which is not bad, and bA Panta Rhei + ajajejejaja + deco chain. The current problem is quite evident. If they will play Alt and deco at the same time, they will see that first player is very impulsive, rough, better with speed playing and second feels like a fish in a barrel in terms of playing in a balanced and calm manner. They are complete opposite. In this case Alt would have to adapt to deco's style and it would reduce his potential. The bigger deal is deco in pair with kingdulli, who prefers control too, so deco + ajajejejaja + kingdulli chain will look very interesting. kingdulli is about adding required bA Panta Rhei balance to Kwachu's gameplay, but it's a question if he will even play. Yet another question: who will play as gk then? deco is too slow and doesn't know how to gym to be able to take responsibility, he needs some backup. kingdulli is a good option, but he has a disadvantage too - his manner on keeping the ball can result in losing it. ajajejejaja looks like a better choice, though it's not his natural position (or not? who fucking knows). Will bA Panta Rhei sacrifice his playing time in favour of the good of his team? Yes, he is an experienced player, but less reliable than his partners, so if he will insist on him playing it can turn out in something bad.
Key player: kingdulli
Main problem: Proper starters selection + kingdulli's attutide
Team spirit: 2,5/5
Team chem: 3,5/5
Starters level: 4/5
Offensive potential: 4/5
Defensive potential: 3/5
The Future aka Woman on a Ship
The ship named named The Future has reached its destination point in the previous season and now, practically using the same roster, they will try to reach it again. It's no secret to anyone that their win was affected by two factors: 1) Wise captain decisions by hesse; 2) Gogli was the 4th player on the field. Making an analogue with the real football, Gogli was like Kante in the championship season of Lester. He covered all the asses and didn't forget to organize the attack. Now team is supplemented by Kitsune aka Сирень aka a lot of weird nicknames. Will it have any impact? Since level and skillset of The Future from previous season was just about making count-attacks, now with Сирень on gk they got an ability to organize positional attacks, and while japanese is right behing Gogli he may untie his X to attack more. However, considering such "update", opponents will come at The Future with completely different mood, unlike previous season when they saw sammer, SanRoo and got rekt as soon as they let their guard down a little. Maybe it will play a dirty trick with The Future this time. Also, if team will build they gameplay exclusively through Gogli, overloading him by the passes, sooner or later he will make his mistake which will be used by the opponents. Russian bitch can also get into positional attack too much and lose herself. What about defence, there is a suspicion that team won't concede too many goals, maybe a little by counter-attacks, because if Сирень and Gogli decide to park the bus, it would be quite the task to penetrate their duo.
Key player: Сирень
Main problem: Cooperation between Сирень and Gogli
Team spirit: 4,5/5
Team chem: 4/5
Starters level: 5/5
Offensive potential: 4/5
Defensive potential: 5/5
Space Walrus aka Lev and Silent Domi Strike back
They are all in here. Old-new Space Walrus is going to take away the shame of the previous season. Only KoVolt is missing from the championship roster, but it won't be the same without him. This season walruses and rookie bouncers montes and jsjs have united to create some gay love. Relationship between Sebastian and domeq originates from the beginning of SSN2 where they formed a duo in Dangerous Cacti (KoVolt was there too), and even Brad Pitt wasn't half as trustful to Angelina Jolie as domeq was to Sebastian. And of course, this young pair, similar to an american one, brought some black kids to their family from all over the world. No one knows what these 3 bouncers are capable of, not even Sebastian, so we can either witness the fabulous birth of the new stars or fabulous comeback to the bottom of the standings (my money on it!). The old friend of Space Walrus notka, who has been involved in championship roster earlier, is also here. I have firsthand knowledge about the skills of this boy, he has a reputation of a player who can create goals out of nothing - both in opponents's and his own nets. Here is his main power and his main weakness. Just as much as he is effective in attack, he is useless otherwise. So, notka's functional and psychological stability would be the thing to lead this team forward. His skills are fully about mood. If he is on top - beware, opponents, but if not - beware, Space Walrus. In contrast to other teams, they has well-organized and seasoned with chem trinity of starters that can earn points easily. Once any bench player takes place instead one of them - team will collapse into chaos.
Key player: notka
Main problem: Readiness of notka + defence
Team spirit: 4,5/5
Team chem: 5/5
Starters level: 4,5/5
Offensive potential: 5/5
Defensive potential: 2,5/5
Reestylic aka Yellow Blue Nose
I remember, during previous season I wanted to have my own team with blackjack and whores. And I would like to see Nedved11, chudo, Nagi, notka and Walkie joining me. You see now? Yes, I got what I wanted. It was important to me to fill team with russian-speaking member so they understand my thought about tactics. back then, in SSN5, I was trying to impose my view of gameplay on other players of Lunar Force, but due to language barrier and inactivity of deco I couldn't make it (though we won Dream Team twice). Actually, main problem as I see it is how soon this team will be able to play tactically correctly. With tactics it's all possible, even to make finals side by side with Bjorn. If we solve this problem soon, then we will compete for the first place in regular standings, if sooner - then we try to reach playoff to continue solving it thereafter (like in previous season), if not - then playoffs are under question. Even though we might be stronger as team than others, our individual skill is still weak. In an ideal world, our gameplay would remind of Atletico Madrid. Also, after such a long break all players usually suffer from a bad shape, so do we. The possibility of team warming up only by the middle of the season is more real than the rough start. And let's be honest - they all think that we are the weakest team compared to others, and I hope they won't change their mind so my job becomes easier
Key player: hnkbot
Main problem: Team's shape + tactics training
Team spirit: 5/5
Team chem: 4/5
Starters level: 3,5/5
Offensive potential: 2/5
Defensive potential: 5/5